Sometimes my anxiety gets really, really high and I don't even realize it until I do something like, say, break my finger while I'm scrubbing the kids' bathtub (that isn't even dirty) like a madwoman at 9pm on a Tuesday night, yell and tell my husband I'm pretty sure I just broke my finger, keep scrubbing, then stop scrubbing long enough for him to wrap it in ice, and follow it with Therapeutic Mopping of the bathroom floor (which actually WAS dirty, because my son is a boy, hence he is incapable of directing his urine entirely INTO the toilet, but rather pees all AROUND the toilet). Later when all the Random Intensive Cleaning is done and I feel more in-control, I stop and go "Oh. I must be anxious."
You'd think I'd be more aware of my feelings. But I'm not.
I've always been a girl who liked things with themes, and I've spent my life giving different themes to days of the week (most recently the week consisted of HUG YOUR GODDAMN MIMZ TUESDAY, WINE WEDNESDAY, and INTENSIVE CLEANING FRIDAY.) I change them up every few years and recently realized that I needed to start afresh because I no longer have a Mimz to hug on Tuesday, I drink wine every day so Wednesday isn't special, and Intensive Cleaning Friday needed to be changed to Monday for convenience reasons (and to accommodate cleaning up the mess my family creates after a weekend with no school or work). Therefore, I implemented ZEN WEDNESDAY-- "ZENESDAY," and FEELINGS FRIDAY. Oh, and of course, INTENSIVE CLEANING MONDAY.
ZENESDAY is awesome because every time the kids have an argument, I make them sit and meditate over why they are being assholes to each other. Belly is a disaster at meditation, but I've learned that Sutt is incredibly good at it and might actually have career potential as a Kundalini yogi someday (see photo below). It's fun for me to watch and it works better than yelling at them because they hate sitting still and being quiet, so it's win-win. Zenesday also includes making everyone be calm and happy and peaceful, which are things that I suck at, but the idea is that YOU FAKE THAT SHIT TILL YOU MAKE IT, so I'm hoping that one day maybe I will actually be calm and happy and peaceful FOR REAL.
As for FEELINGS FRIDAY, I haven't gotten that one sorted out yet except that being aware of my anxiety this week made me go OH SHIT, I NEED TO SIT DOWN AND EXPLORE WHAT'S GOING ON IN MY HEAD ON FEELINGS FRIDAY. I feel like if there is an established day set aside for something, I might actually do it. Also, when the kids are assholes on FEELINGS FRIDAY I make them write long letters to each other telling their sibling things they love about them and reminiscing over fun times they've had together. It's pretty awesome and entertaining for me, and again, they despise it and it works great preventatively.
INTENSIVE CLEANING MONDAY should be pretty self-explanatory. If it's not, then you should immediately stop reading my blog because you are too stupid to enjoy it.
ANYWAY. I'm open to suggestions on themes for the other days of the week. And for magical anxiety and broken finger cures. Just so you know.