Monday, July 20, 2015

Photo Roulette

Today, just for fun, I've invented a new game where I am going to go into my vast photo files, and (randomly, with my eyes closed) choose 5 photos to put on my blog.  Now, seeing as how I am not good with my camera and accidentally photograph my fingers, the floor, etc on a pretty regular basis AND never delete a photo, this could be interesting.  There are also photos that B has taken, the kids have taken.....THERE COULD BE ANYTHING IN THERE.  I promise not to publish any of the wide assortment of naked selfies I take.  Well, maybe just a few of the tasteful ones if they pop up.  Or a distasteful one or two if I start drinking while I'm writing this.  Let's be honest, who knows what you're gonna get here.  READ ON!

1.  This is me.  I think I'm holding the Mimz.  I'm definitely at the Suffolk house.  And despite being very blurry, it appears that I have excellent cleavage, which makes me supportive of this photo.  It also looks like I'm talking, which is normal.  Actually, B probably took this photo because he was bored with whatever I was saying and started playing with phone.  He was probably thinking, "She's never going to shut up or hold still, but at least her boobs look good."  That doesn't happen that often because I'm pretty flat chested.  WAY TO GO ON GETTING A PICTURE OF ME WITH CLEAVAGE B!  High five, baby.

 2.  This photograph is interesting because it appears to be a selfie of Belly.  As Batman.  I have never seen this photo before, and when I look at the details it appears to have come off of HER camera, when she was about six.  WHICH IS AWESOME.  When I clicked on it and saw it I started laughing so hard I choked on my water.  I need to print a copy of this for her because WHO DOESN'T WANT A BATMAN SELFIE OF THEMSELVES?  It kind of makes me want to go find Sutt's old Batman mask and take one of myself, then put them in a double frame.  Mother/Daughter Batman selfies?  LOOK OUT, PINTEREST, HERE WE COME!  Who wouldn't want THAT hanging over their fireplace?
 3.I love this photo, although I don't remember it.  Shawna probably took it, because it's at her and Zach's house.  There are a couple of great points here-- 1) We don't allow Sutt to have soda, and he's chugging a Sprite.  2)  Neither of them is playing video games, but Zach is totally absorbed in the tv, which means they are probably watching something COMPLETELY kid inappropriate like "The Walking Dead."  3)  Mimi is passed out snuggled against her Uncle Zach.  She's probably drunk.  We liked to give her wine on vacation.  Anyway, the point is that when Sutt and Uncle Zach have "man time," all the rules go out the window, which is EXACTLY what makes me happiest about it.  SO my kid is now obsessed with zombies and has a few cavities?  SO WHAT?  Uncle Zach time makes him so happy that it's worth it.

4.  SO this was that time that B and I went out for Mexican food, had too much tequila, and invited that chick in the background (whose name I can't remember) back to our house for a really hot, dirty threesome.


I literally have no idea what's going on here.  I don't know that girl in the background.  I don't recognize that restaurant.  B looks tanked and is wearing a I'm guessing it's a typical Tuesday at some point in the past ten years.  I'm pretty sure I was no part of this (threesome or otherwise) so I'm just going to let this one go.

5.   OH SHIT!  THIS IS ONE OF MY FAVORITE PHOTOS EVER!  I've been looking for this thing, because I couldn't remember what year it was from, so I'm super stoked that it appeared.  THIS IS THE BIRTHDAY CAKE I MADE MY FATHER-IN-LAW A FEW YEARS AGO.  Is he a Star Wars fan?  No.  Did he ask for a 4-tiered, lopsided cake with black frosting and silver spray-sprinkles?  Hell, no.  I came up with this shit on my own.  THAT'S JUST HOW FUCKING AMAZING I AM.  This is what cemented my future as the MCPHAIL BIRTHDAY CAKE MAKER FOR ALL ETERNITY.  Since then, I've made a "Moses Parts The Red Sea Cake," a "Shark Attack Cake," a "Blazing Sparkler-Horned Unicorn Rainbow Cake" (that one almost burned the house down).  It's always my own idea and my own creation.  And in this head of mine, the possibilities are ENDLESS (just ask my poor family).

This was fun.  

1 comment:

Erin said...

Your cakes are the best!!