A couple of nights ago, I went into the bathroom to get the dirty laundry just as B was getting out of the shower. Toweling himself off, he said, "Hey, come check out my belly button."
Wondering what the hell he could possibly be talking about, I walked over and peered into his belly button, only to see three angry-looking red dots inside. They looked like.....burns. Puzzled, I looked up at him with my "WTF" face (it looks something like this: right eyebrow raised, mouth pursed, a vision of complete disdain, yet laced with slight confusion). It seems that the night before, when B had been eating popcorn in bed (naked--he's ALWAYS naked) he had lifted a handful to his mouth, only to have three hot, unpopped kernels escape from his palm and land inside his belly button, burning his flesh in three little spots.
Now, before you start thinking, "What a dumbass," (which is exactly what I thought myself, as I laughed at him and asked his permission to blog about it) let me remind you that B is essentially a genius. Like, for real. I have known some really smart people-- doctors, lawyers, engineers.....shit, my Dad built a fucking airplane FROM SCRATCH (that, for the record, is still in my goddamn garage)--but I have never known anyone as smart as B. He can fly planes, play multiple musical instruments, speak several languages, AND navigate the New York City subway system while he's so drunk he can't even remember his own name. He kicked my ass on the GRE without ever picking up a book and I'm not only intelligent, but also an excellent test taker. But I've also seen him make some REALLY STUPID CHOICES (like not putting on pants when he takes the dogs out to pee--I'm like, "Dude, you'd quit getting mosquito bites on your junk if you'd cover that shit up." But does he ever learn? NO. He doesn't.).
The point is, everybody does dumb shit. It happens. Some of us more than others, but, you know. So if you are currently beating yourself up over something stupid that you did five minutes (or five years) ago, let it go. It's over. It'll heal. Give it time.
And maybe next time you'll know to wear a damn shirt when you eat popcorn.