Just a list.
THINGS THAT HAVE HAPPENED THIS WEEK THAT ENFORCE THE REMINDER THAT I AM, INDEED, A MOM REGARDLESS OF MY AVERSION TO SAID POSITION AT TIMES, SPECIFICALLY WHEN SOMEONE IS PUKING ON THE CARPET OR DISCUSSING THEIR BOWEL MOVEMENTS, AND THAT I WILL NEVER ESCAPE SAID POSITION BECAUSE ONCE A MOM, ALWAYS A MOM, EVEN WHEN ONE WEARS NOTHING BUT STILETTOS AND PARADES AROUND THE HOUSE THAT WAY BECAUSE THE KIDS ARE AT THE IN-LAW'S HOUSE AND NOTHING SAYS ANTI-MOM LIKE A NAKED CHICK WITH FEET ENCASED IN PATENT LEATHER
1. On Tuesday, I took my breakfast (yogurt) to work with me. In a Hello Kitty lunch bag. With a green plastic snake spoon. And thought nothing of it.
2. Twice this week, my total meal has been whatever was left over on the kids' plates. At least an hour after they left it there. (A few spoonfuls of congealed oatmeal, and some cold, somewhat stiff, spaghetti).
3. When I undressed tonight to shower, my jeans had the following on them: dried urine (Sutt), vanilla frosting (Belly), mashed potatoes (Belly), snot (Sutt), tears (Belly), and toothpaste (Sutt). Which means they were actually cleaner than the jeans I normally take off at night.
4. Today I couldn't find a pen in my handbag, but I did find the following: granola bars, lollipops, several hair elastics with Belly's hair tangled on them, 3 army men, Obi-wan Kenobi, a My Little Pony plastic comb, a beaded bracelet that said "Momy," a pair of socks (clean) and a Barbie shoe. These were just the things of which I actually took note.
5. Yesterday, I heard the following from my son, and I didn't even bat an eye, but rather just got out the bleach and the Lysol. "Mommy! I went poop! Oh, great. It's the biggest poop I've ever seen. It's gonna be a plunger."
I need to write a blog on how easy Dads have it.