Monday, January 31, 2011

The Weekly Kickoff

Most of the time, I am not a girl who minds Mondays. Mondays, to me, are kind of a nice little surprise after a hectic weekend of trying to entertain two kids, two dogs and a husband. While most people wake up dreading Monday, I wake up thinking, "Hey. It's Monday," and not much beyond that. I don't dread it. I don't look forward to it with joy either, but it's certainly not something I really waste much time or energy thinking about (as opposed to EVERYTHING else in the world that I DO waste time and energy thinking about). Tuesday is MY bad day. Tuesday is my Dread It, Everything Always Goes All To Hell Day.

But today was kind of a rough Monday.

This morning, I overslept. I rarely oversleep, because I rarely sleep. And when I do, my automatic Haley Internal Alarm Clock wakes me up on time. I don't worry about oversleeping. Ever. But today I did. The reason for this is likely because I was up until 3am, with my ribs hurting like hell (long story), tossing and turning and swearing because I hurt so badly. After a few rounds of Advil, a not-prescribed-to-me hydrocodone, and a Xanax, I finally slept a bit. Overslept, that is. So I woke up in a mad rush and leaped out of bed-- not good for the excruciating rib pain, it turns out. After surviving a shower, I made the kids breakfast and poured myself a MUCH NEEDED VERY LARGE cup of coffee. Now, when I set the coffee pot at night (or, in this case, when B set it for me-- thank you, my hero) I make 5-6 cups which, when poured into my gargantuan coffee mugs, makes slightly over one Haley Sized Cup. Reaching into the refrigerator, I realized I had used the rest of my creamer yesterday without remembering to replace it.

Motherfucker.

Scavenging through the fridge, I found a container of sugar free creamer (I'm making gagging noises as I write this, because said creamer SUCKS, but SUCK creamer is better than NO creamer). I checked the expiration date, good until next month. Shook it up, poured it in, and.....it came out in clumps.

Big, spoiled, sugar-free dairy product clumps. All in my coffee, the pouring of which had nearly emptied the pot, and which I had no time to remake before I needed to leave for work.

Motherfucker.

Haley without coffee is pretty much like, well, Satan. A very pissed off, possessed by demons beyond understanding kind of Satan that would scare the hell (pardon the pun) out of the REAL Satan. Yet, I headed to work anyway, as Satan. I realized on the way that I had forgotten my water bottle too.

Motherfucker.

When I got to work, I dashed in without a minute to spare, pulling off my coat and gloves, hands full, juggling my handbag and my phone, keys, lipstick, etc. Only to realize that our office was empty. Totally empty, no computers, no chairs, no tables, no co-workers.

Motherfucker.

After a bit of frantic sleuthing, I discovered that we had been moved to another (much smaller) office in the building. Nobody had any heads up until this morning at 8am, so we spent the entire morning vacuuming, cleaning, and moving shit instead of getting ANY work accomplished. With my sore ribs I still moved tables and chairs, printers and boxes. I ended up working an hour later than usual and left the office with my black pants covered in carpet grit and dust bunnies.

Motherfucker.

And this just got me through 1pm.
Check Spelling
Suck it, Monday.

But on a brighter note, tomorrow is February 1st. No more January, not for another whole year. No more plodding through the month that Dad and Papaw died, checking off the dates that make me sad. The 2nd. The 6th. The 8th. The 11th. The 24th. They are officially over for 2011. Thank you, God. So tonight, I painted my nails Passion Pink. I'm having a glass of wine. I am done with this motherfucking Monday. And looking ahead, beyond Tuesday--gotta get through tomorrow--but on to hopefully better days. Warmer, happier, better days.

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