Saturday, July 25, 2009
Last night, after a brief session of trying to teach myself to play chess via an online tutorial (hence the new background), I decided that it would be much easier to learn with a real person and without a kid in my lap, so I threw that idea to the wind and went to play dress-up.
I love dress-up.
There is a certain part of the movie "Fight Club" where Helena Bonham Carter walks through Edward Norton's kitchen wearing a pink tulle dress and mentions that it's a bridesmaid's dress that she picked up for a dollar at a thrift store. I WANT TO BE HELENA BONHAM CARTER IN THAT DRESS. I want to walk around, pale-skinned and drug addled, black hair jagged and wild, cigarette hanging from my lips, wearing a ridiculously inappropriate dress just because I FEEL LIKE IT. (Okay, maybe not the drug-addled part, nor the cigarette, as I am adamantly anti-smoking, and, well, not the black hair part either, because I'm just not an attractive brunette. But the bridesmaid dress part--ABSOLUTELY. However, this area seems to be devoid of any decent thrift stores, and the few bridesmaid dresses I have in my closet are not nearly intense enough for my desires.)
The point is: If I could play dress up every day, just like Helena, I sure as hell would do it. Unfortunately I lack the materials. However, what I DO have, is two (yes, count them--TWO) lovely wedding gowns. The first is satin and tulle, the second is satin with rum trim, A-line and strapless. The first is stuffed under my bed, where it takes up the entire king-sized expanse. The second is pressed and cleaned, hanging in my closet. (The gowns are representative of the husbands: the first, though it looks great on the surface, is clearly dispensable. The second must be cared for and respected, because it's a keeper and may someday begin a legacy.) I wear the first one occasionally, for cleaning, Halloween, playing Cinderella's Ball with Bellamy, or having relations with Husband Number Two (who claims he has no problem with me keeping and wearing Gown Number One as long as I make it up to him while I still have it on). Wearing Dress #1 is fun, and makes me feel like a fairy princess, which is always a pick-me-up.
Dress #2 hasn't seen the light of day for nearly six years, until last night.
Yes, I had been imbibing in the cocktails a bit. Yes, I was bored. So I dragged that sucker out of its dry-cleaner bag within a wedding-dress bag and put it on. I had forgotten how much I love that damn dress. It's beautiful and simple and absolutely stunning. And also now four sizes too big (dude, I wore it three months after having a BABY for goodness sakes--cut me some slack). Regardless of tucking, strapping, and tying, I was still able to slip it on and off without ever having to unzip or unfasten anything. Still, it was lovely to wear and Bellamy got a big kick out of seeing Mommy in her wedding gown. She even took a few photos. :)
I always forget how much I love to dress for myself, instead of what I feel like I'm expected to wear. How it feels to dress up for no reason, or wear a sexy nightgown even if I don't want to be touched. Sometimes, I just want to feel pretty for ME.