Thursday, June 11, 2009

All Mixed Up

I, Madame Haleystarr, am the QUEEN OF THE MIXED CD. No, not in your junior high make-one-for-your-crush sort of way (although I have been tempted to make the official "Johnny Depp" mix and send it off to France or wherever the heck he lives--only that damned restraining order stops me), but in the I MAKE AWESOME MIXES sort of way.

Yes, that is a real way. Because I say so.

I make mix cds for my friends, my family and myself. Every few months I make a "Soundtrack to My Life RIGHT NOW" of songs that remind me of what is going on with my life. It's better than keeping a journal, because listening to those songs takes me to a certain emotional location that no words on a page can find. Every time I take a road trip to see my best friend Ray in Chapel Hill, I make an R&B Mix. (R&B being "Ray and Bean"--Bean being her nickname for me--not Rhythm and Blues. Which, by the way, is fascinating because I've never even thought about what R&B stood for until just then, and somehow I JUST KNEW. I swear I am SO psychic it scares me.) I listen to it on the way down, and we listen to it while I'm there during whatever antics we employ. (So far, we've only had two mixes confiscated by the authorities. Not bad for a couple of crazy chicks like us. We might have lost one in a brothel once, too, but I don't remember the specifics. I love that word--"brothel." It just rolls off your tongue.) I make hot "Rock My World, Sexy Husband" mixes, "You Pissed Me the Hell Off, Asshole" mixes, birthday mixes, gym mixes, drunken mixes--all variations of mixes. If you are my friend and I have never made you a mix, I probably secretly don't like you at all. Although it's rare that I secretly don't like anyone. I usually sky write "Burn in hell, bitch. Love, Haley" over your house when I don't like you. But I digress (which is apparently pretty normal for me).

The point is, I think my blog needs a mix. So, I present to you:

THE SEMI-PARTIAL MUSICAL MIX FOR STARR TRIPPIN', CONTAINING SONGS DEAR TO THE HEART ONLY OF THE BLOG, NOT NECESSARILY THE BLOGGER, YET THAT ARE APPROPRIATE, YET SLIGHTLY DISTASTEFUL, AND FIT ONLY FOR EARS PAST THE AGE OF 21 OR SO

1. "You're Pretty When I'm Drunk" --The Bloodhound Gang
2. "Promise Me You'll Never Go Bungee Jumping in Mexico" --Triangleman
3. "Blister in the Sun"--the Violent Femmes
4. "Loser"--Beck
5. "Pretty Fly for a White Guy"--the Offspring
6. "Sir Psycho Sexy"--Red Hot Chili Peppers
7. "Bullet With Butterfly Wings"--the Smashing Pumpkins
8. "Closer"--Nine Inch Nails
9. "Scooby Snacks"--the Fun Loving Criminals
10. "All that Ills"--Bryan Cohen and the AM Disasters

2 comments:

Dan said...

Love it! I'm the same way - I make more mix tapes/cds for myself than I do for others... funny.

For this mix, how about "Short Skirt, Long Jacket" by Cake?

Or, another song I have a very hard time justifying if I leave it out: "Killing Me Softly" by the Fugees.

Or, if you want the Fuck You vibe, I like "The Salt in My Tears" by Martin Briley (the lyrics are awesome).... check 'em out.

Love Ya,
Dan

haleystarr said...

I'm definitely down with adding "Short Skirt, Long Jacket" seeing as how I'm a girl who is touring the facility and picking up slack.

Oh, and by the way, when do I get my personalized Haley Mix, Dan?