Wednesday, May 20, 2009

The Roof Is On Fire

Do you ever wish you could just not be yourself for a little while? Not be someone else, not give up the things in your life, good or bad--just, for a few hours, not be you?

That's what I'm doing right now. Wishing, that is.

I'm feeling kind of burnt out on my life at this moment. It's not the fault of Blaker, or the kids (they are fine, I'm still lucky to have them). It's more that there's just been so much going on in the past year that it's worn me the hell out. I'm exhausted and jaded. I don't need a vacation, per se, where I lie on the beach sipping Corona with the husband (although if that were to happen, I certainly wouldn't complain). I need a vacation from being ME. I need a day or evening or, hell, two-hour block where I'm nobody's Mommy, wife, daughter, sister, friend. I'm nothing. And I need that nothing to have no impact on the rest of my life. I don't want to give up anything I have. I just need a break.

Some of you are aware of what's been going on the past week--to give you a taste of where I'm at at this moment, we've had: a death in the family (more cancer), a kid with an eye infection, a computer that finally keeled over and died, taking a lot of our stuff with it, drama with my Mama (yes, that's supposed to rhyme), I've been's been a lot. It IS a lot. I also have a friend who is MIA and company on the way to VA. It's relentless, this abominable 2009. Is there any way out? For just a little while?

1 comment:

vanilla said...

Company on that way can make anyone feel overwhelmed. I tend to do that when I know I have to clean the house for said company, even when they are only coming for dinner.

I have a room that I have turned into my yoga room. I plan on telling russ not to bother me whenever I am in there. I ran to that room after work one day this week as it was a long as day and I did yoga stretches.

Granted, you have two kids, so I am sure it is harder to tell them to leave you alone. Then if you do and they, do leave you alone, who knows what you will come back to. Plus, it is easier said than done, to give advice of finding something that takes you away from everything where you can use it as decompression. Sadly, I think that is basically what I am saying. So feel free to ignore me if this didn't help at all.

At least I tried.