Tuesday, October 14, 2008

My Blog Needs a T-Shirt


I was at the mall a couple of weeks ago and saw a very skinny, morose-looking teenage girl, who had clearly spent too much time with the kohl liner and the flatiron, wearing a t-shirt that said "Nobody Cares About Your Blog."

WHAT?!?!?!

Of course they do. (If you beg to differ, I would just like to take a second to point out that you ARE reading it right now....)

My first instinct was to run up and push her 14-year-old, 90 lb. self down and kick her. She's lucky I was carrying a toddler. We all know I'm rather prone to violence. Probably just pulling a handful of that long, stringy hair out would have been somewhat satisfying. Alas, I fought the urge to put the smack down and stayed on course towards Macy's.

Even so, I couldn't help but wonder: Why would anyone wear such a shirt? I mean, I have shirts that say things--a pink one that spells "Princess" in sequins (Blaker has been known to borrow that one for Halloween), my awesome "Gimme Some Sugar" diabetes shirt, great T's from different bars I've been known to haunt in my day, and my most recent favorite, my Halloween shirt that says "Bad Witch"--but none of my shirts say mean things about other people or other people's things. No "Your Ass Looks Giant in Those Jeans" or "Ever Considered Invisiline?" or "My Yorkie's IQ is 20 Points Higher Than Yours Which Isn't A Good Thing Because It Took Her Two Freakin' Years To Learn How To Sit." Nothing.

What's wrong with the world today, that one finds it necessary to insult others in the name of fashion?

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